i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
