he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
