I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
