PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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