He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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