She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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