is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
