i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
