i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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