Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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