i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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