I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You pole danced in your parka.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
