wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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