You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
