yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
