Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
