Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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