He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
