Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
