That's when you crack a 10am beer
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
