I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
