I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
