she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
