Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
