I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
