trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
