i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
