I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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