My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
