Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
