You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
