my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
