69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
