Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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