im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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