similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
