i just wanna soil my oats bro
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
