chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
