got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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