i would punch a child for taco bell
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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