Don't you send me to vm
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
