That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
