You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
