Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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