Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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