My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
