Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
