I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
