there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
