Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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