I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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