that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
