She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
