i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
